Happiness is a choice you can make everyday View More
The man down the lane once asked who I am?
People said he was selfish, only cared about himself. The man was considerate but it wasn’t always noticed.
People said he was insensitive, dint show emotions. The man always struggled to express his bottled up emotions.
People said he was racist, supported only his kind. The man was a victim of racism and hatred and chose to support his kind so they don’t feel humiliated like he did.
People said he was a coward, did not support feminism. The man was once thrown into jail for false accusations by a woman.
People said he was unlucky for love, nobody liked him. The man once trusted someone and gave his heart, only to be broken by betrayal.
People said he never tried enough. The man was exhausted trying every possible way and it dint work.
People said he was a depressed man, trying to end his life. The man was only struggling to find his place in the society which was so judgemental and sharp as a knife.
Social media has become a integral part of our lives. It is like dal-chawal (Lentils-Rice) (Indian dish consumed daily) which we cannot live without.
What is social media? (This is not your exam, but am sure you won’t be able to define it, if i asked. Try it, if you don’t beleive. )
In simple terms, social media is any digital tool which helps you share content, helps you interact with other users. It enables you to create your content quickly and helps reach millions online with just one click.
Social media has changed the way humans communicate. Although there are abundant benefits of social media, humans are bound to waste things when they get them easily, free and without working hard for it.
While social media was primarily created for people to share good content, information, news, promote global interaction without even needing to be there, social media today has become a medium to judge people anonymously, create controversies, promote racism, spread filthy rumours about anyone and everyone. There are groups of such people who find it pleasurable to disrespect others. This is how it affects the good people out there who were there only for the primary purpose. They become victims to such acts and fall into low self esteem issues, depression and other health issues.
Below are 7 signs social media is affecting your health and getting you addicted.
1. Your phone follows you EVERYWHERE.
LITMUS TEST – Are you carrying your phone to the bathroom?
If you answered yes, you are in a really bad position. Just STOP. Do you know the amount of germs and bacteria you exposed your phone to?
These germs can transfer to your mouth and make you very ill. You can even make others ill by exposing them to you dirty phone.
Stop today if you have developed this habit. Life will not end while you are in the bathroom. Also it is essential to log off from the virtual world for sometime in the day atleast.
2. You are updating everything you do on social media.
Is it difficult for you to enjoy a moment without capturing it and showing it to the world??
You have forgotten to live in the moment. Here’s a small test for you.
LITMUS TEST : Spend a day without uploading anything on social media.
If you successfully did this, Kudos to you!! You are truly enjoying every moment of your life.
If you couldn’t get through the day, it is okay, try again. You will see a big difference in your day when it happens. Because true happiness is not in the virtual world, it’s in those little moments which you miss while uploading them online.
3. Are you constantly tagging your friends in MEME and passing comments and being part of what’s “trending” online?
There has always been this trend of tagging your friends, commenting on news, celebrities, any other people you don’t like. Jokes are good for a while, but there is a fine line between fun and disrespecting. Once line is crossed it can hurt sentiments.
This is what facilitates rumours, racism, online bullying, rivalry and other such issues.
LITMUS TEST : During this month have you been a part of any trend that involved passing hate comments to someone weather a celebrity or political leader or just anyone from your group?
If you answered yes, social media has got the best of you. Its good to have your voice, your opinion about something/someone. But there is no need to show your views by disrespecting someone, bullying someone online, using hate speech and spreading rumours.
This not only makes your mentality stoop to a lower level but also shows the world who you are. There is a reason why things “trend” online. It’s because all of them are doing it. There are good ones and bad ones. It’s your choice to make the world a better place or not.
If you answered no, you are doing good, be a good human before anything else. The world needs good people like you, we are already living in difficult times. Thank you !!
4. Withdrawn from family and friends
If you are having more social friends than real ones, you are living in a virtual world. A person who gets obsessed with social media, often spends his time and energy in it, which often leaves their closed ones feeling neglected.
LITMUS TEST – Has your family member or friend asked you to stop looking into your phone and listen to them first? Or pointed you out how they feel ignored while talking to you?
If yes, you need to make some lifestyle changes and give your loved ones the undivided attention they deserve.
If you answered no, then you really are a good listener and not trapped into social media.
5. Are you always struggling to get a perfect selfie, the perfect lighting, perfect pose, so you could upload online??
People today love to have that perfect selfie because they want to look their best in the pictures. They don’t want the world to see their acne, or the dark circles, or the scar, or the mole on their faces.
Thanks to the galaxy of applications specially designed for their users who want to edit their pictures and remove their imperfections.
LITMUS TEST – Are you applying filters and editing each of your photos to perfection before uploading them online??
If you answered yes, you need to think about the “why” of this question. Why do you want to be someone you are not?
If you answered no, kudos to you for being happy in your own skin and not following the crowd of the virtual world.
This point should make you realise how social media has affected your self-esteem, your mental health.
6. Are you constantly checking your phone just so you do not miss something?
Is it hard for you to stay even a minute without checking your notifications?? Do you know why?
The fear of losing out on something has got you. You fear of missing out on something that is in trend, or latest celebrity news, your friends wherabouts etc.
LITMUS TEST – Do you feel left out or falling behind the crowd if you are away from your phone for even an hour? You feel anxious about who must have texted you? Or how many likes your profile picture must have received? Or if whether people commented on your vlog or not ?
If you answered yes, this will definitely affect your mental health, because you are getting yourself worried, reduce focus and appetite. So learn to stay away from your phone and do something productive and creative for your peace of mind.
If you answered no, that’s good. Social media should not dictate your mood and life.
7. Are you comparing your life with others??
Since everybody is uploading their lives online, nothing is hidden. What they do, what they eat, how they live, what they earn, car they drive, where they spend, everything is available online these days.
Sometimes this leads to comparing ones lives with another. This is the worst thing you could do to yourself.
LITMUS TEST – In last 1 week did you compare your life with someone else and wished if you were in their place??
If you compare, you will always feel adequate, because you will compare someone’s strength with your weakness. If you compare strength with strength even then there will always be someone who is better than you. Understand? Comparison can cause low self-esteem, depression, resentment, jealously and envy towards people.
If you answered no, good for you. You are happy with your own life.
In the end, just realise that virtual world is virtual, no matter how many friends you get, or followers follow you, it can never replace the love and affection of your near and dear ones in real life.
Write your thoughts in the comment section below. Would love to hear your litmus test results and if you gave a thought of changing any habit.
Are you guilty of comparing your loved ones or yourself to someone around you??
Did you grow up being always told to be like your siblings, or some random kid in the class or in your parent’s friend circle ? Is this sounding common to you??
This is the root cause of comparision, it all starts from childhood and the cycle continues, the same kid grows up being compared all his life and then does the same with his own kids too and this vicious cycle continues.
Now, what’s wrong with comparision? Aren’t you encouraging your child or friend or lover to be better by showing how others are doing it??
NO, YOU ARE PREPARING THEM FOR LOW SELF ESTEEM ISSUES WHICH WILL EVENTUALLY PUT THEM INTO DEPRESSION.
This not only happens to kids, but with adults too who once happened to be strong individuals who then lost themselves in this chaotic world.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO ENCOURAGE SOMEONE FOR THEIR BETTERMENT??
1. CELEBRATE THEIR INDIVIDUALITY. You need to understand human nature, every human has a set of skills, a temperament, their level of understanding which is unique from another human. This is FACT. Don’t try to alter and don’t try to make someone what they can’t be. Be at peace with their identity.
2. SUGGEST THEM, DONT FORCE. You know people become defensive when something is forced on them. Be it rituals, behaviours, rigid rules, culture norms etc. Ever faced anger moments when you stopped your friend from drinking? Or from husband/wife when you stopped them from behaving a certain way? Or from a kid whom you stopped for throwing tantrums?
3. APPRECIATE THEIR STRENGTHS The times we live in, it is hard for people to appreciate even their loved ones, hardwork goes unnoticed, small love gestures go unnoticed. Why? Wives are not appreciated by husbands for the work they put because it’s considered a obligation and vice versa. Kids are not appreciated by parents for scoring average marks because he was expected to get first-class. Couples don’t appreciate their elderly parents who brought them up for all the years. Friends don’t appreciate each other who go out of the way to make them feel special because some other friend did a bigger and even better act for them. Why? Why have people become so harsh to each other? Relax, it’s time to appreciate the little things in life, focus on people’s strengths, ignore their weaknesses because we all have in us.
4. DONT TALK, COMMUNICATE AT DEEPER LEVELS. Most of the people don’t know the difference between talking and holding a meaningful conversation. In this technology trapped world it is very easy to avoid much communication with anyone. This is a major cause which changes people’s behaviour towards their loved ones. Are you guilty of making someone feel lonely in a relationship? You definitely owe an apology. When was the last time you interacted with your loved one without any gadgets around, away from your screen. It is common to see one person talking, and the other one replying while using their smart screens. This often leaves the other person feeling neglected and less valued. If you are serious about your relation, make an effort to listen to them, come up with solutions, comfort them with your warmth, don’t brush of their worries just because you feel they are vague and not a big deal. Show empathy and affection, if they share it with you, it took a lot of courage to even speak about it. So don’t judge anybody for anything, you don’t have that right.
Everyone deserves to be treated best, don’t judge people or compare people.
When you compare each other, you don’t know the damage you are doing to their mental health, the person eventually will lose himself trying to meet those expectations and fall into depression which can even cost their life. This is a serious issue, respect each other for who they are. Follow positive constructiveness in relations and most important do it together, hand in hand. That’s when life will become meaningful.