Happiness is a choice you can make everyday View More
While you think about the things you don’t have.
There is someone who is being grateful for what they got.
While you count the sorrows in your life.
There is someone who is counting their blessings.
While you see the half cup empty.
There is someone who sees their half cup full.
While you wait for validation by the world.
There is someone who has no choice but to beleive in themselves.
What is better than a friend who betrays you ? An enemy. Right
But does an enemy really exist? Is it true that you can have enemy and friends.
Think again. When you think deeply you will realise the one you calling your enemy was once a friend to you. You cannot have a stranger as your enemy right. It’s a known person and enemy is a strong word to use for someone.
So a friend who betrays you has qualified to be an enemy in your mind.
It’s all in your mind. The definitions of friends and enemies are generated in the minds, it dominates your behaviour towards them. These definations are different from person to person because two people cannot think exactly the same. They process the information differently and attain different perspectives about the situation.
What we want to focus today is have you termed your good friend to be in your enemy category? It’s a trend these days. Surely you wouldn’t be using the word “enemy” to refer them. But you treat them exactly the same way.
You would block them on social media. Ignore their calls, distant yourself from them. Blame them for whatever happened to you. Make them feel guilty of their actions. Give them the silent treatment indefinitely.
Sounds familiar right? You must be justifying yourself by saying they deserve it because they did the injustice to you. But deep in your heart you know you love them so much and want everything to be like before.
Well this dilemma, it’s your inner voice, your gut. Just listen to it. If you get this feeling for someone then you are right, it’s time to let go and get them back to you.
Think about the reason what they did to you. I am by your side if they really violated your soul and compromised your self respect and dignity. Then it’s better to keep them away from your life.
But if they dint do something harsh, or they did something with the right intention thinking of your betterment then you might have been wrong about them.
A friend that says bitter truths to you on your face is truly your friend not your enemy. Don’t abandon them. You may not find such people nowadays as they are so rare. People who deeply care about you, who can’t stand something wrong being done by others to you. They see right through the faces of people who wish to hurt you. But you don’t beleive them and put them aside. The future generations will not feel friendships like we do. You are lucky to have even a single friend in your life.
Life is too short to be unhappy with your closed ones. Don’t give up the many good moments you had and can have for the one bad one. All relations go through ups and downs and it’s okay. It’s okay to be angry, sad, disappointed. But don’t let it get the better of you.
“Bounce back like a boomerang and you are good to go
A friend that stabs you in front is better than the back who stabs you from back. “
We are living in stressful times. Look around you, almost every little thing has got the potential to mess up with your mind. Sounds familiar right?
Right, almost every person around you is able to get on your nerves and cause disruption to your peaceful mind. Why?
Perhaps, because that’s how this age is and you can’t change that. When things go your way it feels good and pleasant, but when they don’t it starts giving you a hard time.
It can take hours of explanation to bring someone else to the same page as you. It can take repeated calls, messages, emails to get your work done by third parties. It can take your whole energy managing your chores and kids throughout the day.
It’s difficult to be patient and keep the same smiling face all day for the people around you. But there are ways you can reduce stress and relax yourself.
Below are some highly effective Stress buster techniques for quick relief.
1. Grab an ice tea, lemonade or a green tea.
When you are stressed, you likely get yourself dehydrated. Grabbing a lemonade gets you refreshed and hydrated. Also lemonade contains vitamin C which can help with low blood pressure, digestion, skin aging problems as well. This is a delicious way of busting your stress out.
If you don’t like lemonade, grab an ice tea. Ice tea will boost you with antioxidants and suprising amount of manganese. Manganese is essential for maintaing strength in your bones and promotes wound healing.
Now, if you are not a cool beverage person and you only feel relaxed with hot beverages, you can make a quick green tea for yourself and reap its benefits.
Green tea contains natural oxidant catechin named EGCG (Epigallocatechin-3-gallate) which is known to prevent cell damage.
Green tea is not only refreshing but also but prevents you from certain types of cancer.
2. Just swing it !! Meditate in aesthetic enviornment.
Nature has the power to soothe the mind and body. Research says the color green has a soothing effect to the eyes. The human eye can relieve strain while it sees green.
If your enviornment is green, all you have to do is find a place to relax.
Grab your bean bags or put a swing in your balcony and relax. Watch the plants and trees, close your eyes and hear the sounds of the leaves and wind.
If you notice, the focus of modern interiors has shifted to making greenery spaces in the house and workplaces. People have developed a keen interest in having kitchen gardens, houseplants, terrace gardens. You can even find plants in the bedroom, living rooms believed to purify the air and a means to stay close to nature. So if you don’t already have it you can easily create it in your home. This is a great stress buster of all time.
3. Get a good sleep for an hour or two.
Not to mention, we all know the importance of sleep. So if you are feeling stressed and nothing works, draw your curtains, set your room to dark and get a good 1-2 hour of sleep.
Sleeping relaxes your muscles, you can finally stop thinking about whatever you were thinking the whole day atleast for an hour or so and get instant stress relief.
4. Take a shower/bath
As we are talking about instant remedies, this is one of the best ways to de-stress yourself quickly.
A survey of 80 people was conducted by Neil Morris, a known psychologist. He concluded that “..baths give you a wonderful combination of isolation, quiet and comfort…”
5. Relive an old memory
If you have your family album, childhood album, or wedding album, just sit back on the couch and start turning the pages.
As your brain goes back to the memory lane, it will also produce some happy harmones while you smile remembering those memories.
6. Talk to someone who can make you laugh
This one could be hard, but still doable if you have such people in your life. You should already feel blessed.
7. Excercise. Do the Jumping jacks
Let me make this easy for you. If you are not a regular workout person but you still want to try this remedy, just start with the jumping jacks.
Doing this simple excercise will instantly produce endorphins in your brain. Endorphins are chemicals that help relive pain and stress in the body. They promote positive feelings in the body and get you in a state of euphoria.
If you don’t like the jumping jacks, you can get started with yoga. See? No excuse for feeling better.
Start with simple yoga postures and deep breathing exercises.
Bottom line is
There are both short term and long term stress relief techniques. Above mentioned techniques will provide you quick relief.
Remember, stress will not get you any solution. It will only cloud your judgements and productivity.
Try to take things easy, give yourself the time it needs after a rough day at work. Be around positive people, do positive things that promote happy harmones, read my blogs and you are good to go. See? It’s that easy.
The man down the lane once asked who I am?
People said he was selfish, only cared about himself. The man was considerate but it wasn’t always noticed.
People said he was insensitive, dint show emotions. The man always struggled to express his bottled up emotions.
People said he was racist, supported only his kind. The man was a victim of racism and hatred and chose to support his kind so they don’t feel humiliated like he did.
People said he was a coward, did not support feminism. The man was once thrown into jail for false accusations by a woman.
People said he was unlucky for love, nobody liked him. The man once trusted someone and gave his heart, only to be broken by betrayal.
People said he never tried enough. The man was exhausted trying every possible way and it dint work.
People said he was a depressed man, trying to end his life. The man was only struggling to find his place in the society which was so judgemental and sharp as a knife.
The most misunderstood emotion
When someone is silent they are not always angry, they are deeply Hurt
When someone is silent they are not arrogant, they chose to be humble by letting go and moving on
When someone is silent they are not disrespectful, they chose to respect you by not hurting you back
When someone is silent, you cannot hear them cry, their heart is learning to hold it inside
When someone is silent they are not hating you, they are loving you without showing it
When someone is silent they are not weak, they are one of the strongest people you ever met
When someone is silent they are not guilty, they don’t feel the need to prove their innocence to you
When someone is silent they do not despair, they hold the rope of hope for a better day
When someone is silent it is not a reaction, it is a thoughtful response.
Silence is not shallow, it is deep and rarely people understand it.
The girl in the woods
The girl in the woods lived far alone, escaped from the world where she had grown.
She was strong, fearless and kind, perhaps her past made her a beautiful mind.
She learnt finding happiness in others would only make her more sad, so she did things that made her glad.
She learnt losing your loved one was most painful of all the wounds, but life and death had to play their own tune.
She believed every struggle she goes through would make her stronger, the storm shall pass and won’t take any longer.
The girl in the woods would stare at the stars, the moon and the dark sky, escaping the world was definitely a good buy.
Do you have that smile??
The one that touches the soul and imprints it with joy. That smile is contagious, it has the glitter in the eyes and gold in the heart.
It holds the power to mend the broken hearts
It holds the power to make you smile even when you don’t want to
It holds the power to change your mood even when you had a rough day,
It holds the power to turn the hearts from hard to soft
It holds the power to turn the frown to joy
It holds the power to turn the poverty of emotions to richness of emotions
It holds the power to change the rivalry to friendship
It holds the power to stop the tongue from uttering that hurtful word
It holds the power to cool down the anger and save from regret
It holds the power to love even when there is hate all around
It holds the power to show trust even when times are hard
Do you have that smile?
If this is your smile pass it on to someone today, it would make them smile too. If you are already smiling as you read this, share this with your loved ones.
If you have someone who smiles at you everyday, love them and respect them, hold on to them because they are special.
Social media has become a integral part of our lives. It is like dal-chawal (Lentils-Rice) (Indian dish consumed daily) which we cannot live without.
What is social media? (This is not your exam, but am sure you won’t be able to define it, if i asked. Try it, if you don’t beleive. )
In simple terms, social media is any digital tool which helps you share content, helps you interact with other users. It enables you to create your content quickly and helps reach millions online with just one click.
Social media has changed the way humans communicate. Although there are abundant benefits of social media, humans are bound to waste things when they get them easily, free and without working hard for it.
While social media was primarily created for people to share good content, information, news, promote global interaction without even needing to be there, social media today has become a medium to judge people anonymously, create controversies, promote racism, spread filthy rumours about anyone and everyone. There are groups of such people who find it pleasurable to disrespect others. This is how it affects the good people out there who were there only for the primary purpose. They become victims to such acts and fall into low self esteem issues, depression and other health issues.
Below are 7 signs social media is affecting your health and getting you addicted.
1. Your phone follows you EVERYWHERE.
LITMUS TEST – Are you carrying your phone to the bathroom?
If you answered yes, you are in a really bad position. Just STOP. Do you know the amount of germs and bacteria you exposed your phone to?
These germs can transfer to your mouth and make you very ill. You can even make others ill by exposing them to you dirty phone.
Stop today if you have developed this habit. Life will not end while you are in the bathroom. Also it is essential to log off from the virtual world for sometime in the day atleast.
2. You are updating everything you do on social media.
Is it difficult for you to enjoy a moment without capturing it and showing it to the world??
You have forgotten to live in the moment. Here’s a small test for you.
LITMUS TEST : Spend a day without uploading anything on social media.
If you successfully did this, Kudos to you!! You are truly enjoying every moment of your life.
If you couldn’t get through the day, it is okay, try again. You will see a big difference in your day when it happens. Because true happiness is not in the virtual world, it’s in those little moments which you miss while uploading them online.
3. Are you constantly tagging your friends in MEME and passing comments and being part of what’s “trending” online?
There has always been this trend of tagging your friends, commenting on news, celebrities, any other people you don’t like. Jokes are good for a while, but there is a fine line between fun and disrespecting. Once line is crossed it can hurt sentiments.
This is what facilitates rumours, racism, online bullying, rivalry and other such issues.
LITMUS TEST : During this month have you been a part of any trend that involved passing hate comments to someone weather a celebrity or political leader or just anyone from your group?
If you answered yes, social media has got the best of you. Its good to have your voice, your opinion about something/someone. But there is no need to show your views by disrespecting someone, bullying someone online, using hate speech and spreading rumours.
This not only makes your mentality stoop to a lower level but also shows the world who you are. There is a reason why things “trend” online. It’s because all of them are doing it. There are good ones and bad ones. It’s your choice to make the world a better place or not.
If you answered no, you are doing good, be a good human before anything else. The world needs good people like you, we are already living in difficult times. Thank you !!
4. Withdrawn from family and friends
If you are having more social friends than real ones, you are living in a virtual world. A person who gets obsessed with social media, often spends his time and energy in it, which often leaves their closed ones feeling neglected.
LITMUS TEST – Has your family member or friend asked you to stop looking into your phone and listen to them first? Or pointed you out how they feel ignored while talking to you?
If yes, you need to make some lifestyle changes and give your loved ones the undivided attention they deserve.
If you answered no, then you really are a good listener and not trapped into social media.
5. Are you always struggling to get a perfect selfie, the perfect lighting, perfect pose, so you could upload online??
People today love to have that perfect selfie because they want to look their best in the pictures. They don’t want the world to see their acne, or the dark circles, or the scar, or the mole on their faces.
Thanks to the galaxy of applications specially designed for their users who want to edit their pictures and remove their imperfections.
LITMUS TEST – Are you applying filters and editing each of your photos to perfection before uploading them online??
If you answered yes, you need to think about the “why” of this question. Why do you want to be someone you are not?
If you answered no, kudos to you for being happy in your own skin and not following the crowd of the virtual world.
This point should make you realise how social media has affected your self-esteem, your mental health.
6. Are you constantly checking your phone just so you do not miss something?
Is it hard for you to stay even a minute without checking your notifications?? Do you know why?
The fear of losing out on something has got you. You fear of missing out on something that is in trend, or latest celebrity news, your friends wherabouts etc.
LITMUS TEST – Do you feel left out or falling behind the crowd if you are away from your phone for even an hour? You feel anxious about who must have texted you? Or how many likes your profile picture must have received? Or if whether people commented on your vlog or not ?
If you answered yes, this will definitely affect your mental health, because you are getting yourself worried, reduce focus and appetite. So learn to stay away from your phone and do something productive and creative for your peace of mind.
If you answered no, that’s good. Social media should not dictate your mood and life.
7. Are you comparing your life with others??
Since everybody is uploading their lives online, nothing is hidden. What they do, what they eat, how they live, what they earn, car they drive, where they spend, everything is available online these days.
Sometimes this leads to comparing ones lives with another. This is the worst thing you could do to yourself.
LITMUS TEST – In last 1 week did you compare your life with someone else and wished if you were in their place??
If you compare, you will always feel adequate, because you will compare someone’s strength with your weakness. If you compare strength with strength even then there will always be someone who is better than you. Understand? Comparison can cause low self-esteem, depression, resentment, jealously and envy towards people.
If you answered no, good for you. You are happy with your own life.
In the end, just realise that virtual world is virtual, no matter how many friends you get, or followers follow you, it can never replace the love and affection of your near and dear ones in real life.
Write your thoughts in the comment section below. Would love to hear your litmus test results and if you gave a thought of changing any habit.
After being confined for months at home and with no mobility to the outside world, words like anxiety, stress, depression, bored, exhausted , anger, bad mood have all become a part of daily life journals and affected our mental health in some way at some point of time.
Mental Health refers to an individual’s emotional, psychological and social well being.
It creates an impact on how we think, feel and act on a daily basis. It also influences how we look at ourselves, our lives and others involved in our lives. Mental health also affects how we handle stress and make decisions in our life. Hence, it is not only important to take care of our physical but mental health as well.
We need to start loving ourselves more and promote happy thoughts within ourselves.
If you have never given a thought before about your mental health, then it’s not too late, making simple lifestyle changes can easily keep you on track to good health.
Below are some ways you can start taking care of your mental health
1. Do something you enjoy
Engage in something that you enjoy doing, it could be reading a book, cooking a dessert, watching your favorite series on Netflix, watching a movie, painting a landscape or portrait. It could be just anything, but make sure to do something each day so that your mind gets relaxed and content. This sounds easy but many people wouldn’t even remember when was the last time they did something enjoyable, if asked.
2. Add exercise to your daily routine
Exercise has its proven benefits to our physical and mental health. Exercise can only benefit you when you follow a routine. Starting your day with exercise keeps you active and boosts energy into your body. It also releases chemicals like endorphins, dopamine and serotonin which are responsible for triggering a positive feeling in the body. They help in regulating your mood.
If you are a beginner, you don’t need to do an intense workout, start with a morning walk and some basic yoga poses. For some this will be more than enough for the day and for others this could be a good starting point before moving to a advance workout.
3. Have a healthy and colorful palette of food everyday.
A healthy diet is the one which is rich in nutrition,vitamins, minerals and provides enough calories to the body. You don’t need to follow a specific diet everyday going on counting each calorie. (Unless recommended by a professional for medical purposes) A healthy diet means you are balancing your food plate well and taking care of all food groups.
Try to include all seasonal fruits and vegetables to your plate everyday. Be creative with food. Add all the natural color foods to your plate.
A healthy diet reduces risk of chronic diseases, heart attacks and cancers. It helps maintain your sugar levels and keeps you from getting obese.Healthy diet is associated with good mood, good physique, more energy, better body weight and overall good mental health. Eliminate junk food from your diet completely as it will one day show it’s adverse effects on your mental and physical health, and it will be too late to change. Reduce salty and sugary foods from your diet as they can impact your health too. Unhealthy diet is also a major cause of depression amongst people.
4. Have a good sleep routine
We all are guilty of staying up late in the nights during Lockdown. It could be because you were watching a movie, completing your leftover work, reading etc. It could also be because you have been overthinking about something, feeling stressed or maybe the fear of something happening is eating you up.
But did you know you are carving a path for the negative effects of sleep deprivation??
Sleep deprivation happens when you consistently do not get adequate sleep.
Sleep deprivation can lead to a weak immune system which makes you vulnerable to serious health problems like heart attack, heart failure, diabetes etc.
Sleep deprivation affects your ability to think and make sound judgements
If you have been making wrong decisions for a while and ended up frustrated, sleep deprivation could have been the cause because it clouds your judgement.
Sleep deprivation also aggravates depression and worsens your mental health. It is known to produce stress hormone called cortisol in excess which leads to muscle weakness, high blood sugar etc.
Sleep deprivation is also known to increase weight gain and cause obesity. That is because it disrupts the key hormones that regulate appetite.
Therefore, ensure to sleep atleast 7 hours at night for a healthy mind and heart.
5. Take up a new Hobby.
Taking up a new hobby is a good way to distract your mind from your usual routine and acts as a stress buster. It soothes your mind and channels it towards being more productive.
Learning is a essential part of human survival. Humans have evolved over time because they never gave up learning. If you want to keep your mind healthy and active all the time, develop your interests in new unexplored areas. This will keep your mind curiosity active and alert.
Here are a few tips for you to get started,
If you have never tried to learn a new language, now is the time you can. Learning a new language is always interesting and it opens new doors of communication with people out of your comfort zone. Also it will boost your confidence and take you to a new level.
You must have seen the trend of baking throughout this lockdown, every other person is baking their own food. Research has proved that baking releases endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine which are all happy hormones. You can try baking a simple banana bread, or a simple cake with few ingredients. There are abundant videos on YouTube and blogs that are meant for beginners only.
6. Be Social and seek help.
If you have always bottled up your emotions, it is time to make some changes for the sake of your mental health. You might say it’s easy said than done. You are right!
You will have to make a effort for this one, you will have to gather all the courage you can and try put your trust in some other human of your kind. You have to open up your heart to them just like you open a book and show them everything, how you feel, how your emotions are eating you up, how lonely your heart is sometimes, how you get thoughts about wishing you were dead and get over with it.
It’s time you think of yourself, it’s time to let go of things and begin to see the light across the tunnel and run towards it. Surely you will not regret what you did for yourself in the coming years. You will be proud you made that decision. And when you share it all, you would have relieved your load, the burden on your head and in your heart you have been carrying for so long and start feeling better like never before. THIS WORKS!!
As I always say don’t lose yourself for people who don’t value you and make you feel low about yourself. It is human nature to never be pleased, so don’t lose yourself please.
If you don’t find anybody you can trust and share your load, don’t think twice to seek a professional. Don’t ever feel ashamed or weak for doing so. You are doing it so you can be stronger and happier.
Why waste life just because someone couldn’t understand you? Or you lost something that was temporary.
There is much more to life that meets the eye. Change your perspective and look at the world again. You will find peace and tranquility.
The world today is such a place,
Chaos is what is left of today,
With every being struggling to live, we can no more rely on someone elses’s will
It’s hard to have your opinion in this world, but remember it’s the only thing you will not regret.
Most are those who will give you words of sympathy and say time will change everything and move on, rare are those who hold your hand and say I will be with you through this time.
Don’t lose yourself trying to meet everybody’s expectations, it is human nature to never be pleased.
Don’t lose yourself for someone who doesn’t respect your feelings, for that person will never know the sweetness of affection and empathy.
Don’t lose yourself for those who make you feel less capable, they don’t know what you were before you met them.
Dont lose yourself for those who blame you for the situation, they will not admit their role which led to it.
Don’t lose yourself for those who do not value your tears, they can sleep as you cry alone.
Don’t lose yourself for those who don’t make you feel as their priority in life, if they are not doing now, they never will.
Don’t lose yourself for those who do not encourage you to your goals, they are the ones who never had dreams.
Don’t lose yourself for those who think you are not strong, they are unaware of the struggles that made you strongest. They are unaware that you chose them to show your scars because of the love you have for them, you chose to show the side of you the world had never seen.
Find yourself, pull yourself out from the chaos. You can do it because you were always the strong one, don’t let others pull you down with them. There are always those rare people around you who will be happy to see your shine. Live for them.
Finally we are what choices we make for ourselves. Depend on noone for your well being and happiness. This is the best you can do for yourself in this chaotic world. Period.