The day you realise…

The day you realise
You own your life and life doesn’t own you,

Will be the day when you know that you are capable of much more than the world told you.

The day you realise
You love yourself the best than anyone else who says they love you,

Will be the day when you start doing more good to yourself than anyone else did to you.

The day you realise
You have something which others can only dream of at night,

Will be the day when you start living each moment to the fullest and start becoming your own light.

-JoyfulSolitude
Alina R

The friend that stabbed you – In Front

What is better than a friend who betrays you ? An enemy. Right

But does an enemy really exist? Is it true that you can have enemy and friends.

Think again. When you think deeply you will realise the one you calling your enemy was once a friend to you. You cannot have a stranger as your enemy right. It’s a known person and enemy is a strong word to use for someone.

So a friend who betrays you has qualified to be an enemy in your mind.

It’s all in your mind. The definitions of friends and enemies are generated in the minds, it dominates your behaviour towards them. These definations are different from person to person because two people cannot think exactly the same. They process the information differently and attain different perspectives about the situation.

What we want to focus today is have you termed your good friend to be in your enemy category? It’s a trend these days. Surely you wouldn’t be using the word “enemy” to refer them. But you treat them exactly the same way.

You would block them on social media. Ignore their calls, distant yourself from them. Blame them for whatever happened to you. Make them feel guilty of their actions. Give them the silent treatment indefinitely.

Sounds familiar right? You must be justifying yourself by saying they deserve it because they did the injustice to you. But deep in your heart you know you love them so much and want everything to be like before.

Well this dilemma, it’s your inner voice, your gut. Just listen to it. If you get this feeling for someone then you are right, it’s time to let go and get them back to you.

Think about the reason what they did to you. I am by your side if they really violated your soul and compromised your self respect and dignity. Then it’s better to keep them away from your life.

But if they dint do something harsh, or they did something with the right intention thinking of your betterment then you might have been wrong about them.

A friend that says bitter truths to you on your face is truly your friend not your enemy. Don’t abandon them. You may not find such people nowadays as they are so rare. People who deeply care about you, who can’t stand something wrong being done by others to you. They see right through the faces of people who wish to hurt you. But you don’t beleive them and put them aside. The future generations will not feel friendships like we do. You are lucky to have even a single friend in your life.

Life is too short to be unhappy with your closed ones. Don’t give up the many good moments you had and can have for the one bad one. All relations go through ups and downs and it’s okay. It’s okay to be angry, sad, disappointed. But don’t let it get the better of you.

“Bounce back like a boomerang and you are good to go

A friend that stabs you in front is better than the back who stabs you from back. “

Let them blossom

Have you been in an relationship?

For most of you it’s a yes. And the rest will eventually be.

What is the most important thing that keeps you together? You would say love, trust, loyalty etc.

That’s correct, it is what keeps you together indeed.

Now, what is the most dangerous thing that can break your relationship?

You would say betrayal, insecurity, obsession etc.

That’s correct, it is what breaks your relationships. But there is one more important aspect which you do not see.

That is “time”. Are you giving enough time to your relationship?

As fast the days pass by, we want everything instantly. Instant food, instant results, instant happiness, instant rewards, instant relationships. Just Instant EVERYTHING.

Anything that is not instant becomes Old School. Correct?

Well, honestly old school will always be the best no matter what time frame you switch to. You know why?

That’s because old school was the foundation of things that was turned to instant.

Just remember, anything that you get instantly in relationships will always be temporary. True relationships need time, effort, communication, dedication and a lot of nurturing from both the sides. A relationship cannot thrive on expensive gifts, luxury dates or text messages.

Take time to make that one phone call instead of texting to check on them. Take time to understand their interests instead of browsing their Facebook profiles. Take time to dwell in their world and see the world through their eyes.

Instead of plucking them from their world for yours, let them blossom where they are.

-JoyfulSolitude

What is the most important thing for you in a relationship ? Do comment below to share your experience.

Who I am?

The man down the lane once asked who I am?

People said he was selfish, only cared about himself. The man was considerate but it wasn’t always noticed.

People said he was insensitive, dint show emotions. The man always struggled to express his bottled up emotions.

People said he was racist, supported only his kind. The man was a victim of racism and hatred and chose to support his kind so they don’t feel humiliated like he did.

People said he was a coward, did not support feminism. The man was once thrown into jail for false accusations by a woman.

People said he was unlucky for love, nobody liked him. The man once trusted someone and gave his heart, only to be broken by betrayal.

People said he never tried enough. The man was exhausted trying every possible way and it dint work.

People said he was a depressed man, trying to end his life. The man was only struggling to find his place in the society which was so judgemental and sharp as a knife.

Do you have that smile??

Do you have that smile??

The one that touches the soul and imprints it with joy. That smile is contagious, it has the glitter in the eyes and gold in the heart.

It holds the power to mend the broken hearts

It holds the power to make you smile even when you don’t want to

It holds the power to change your mood even when you had a rough day,

It holds the power to turn the hearts from hard to soft

It holds the power to turn the frown to joy

It holds the power to turn the poverty of emotions to richness of emotions

It holds the power to change the rivalry to friendship

It holds the power to stop the tongue from uttering that hurtful word

It holds the power to cool down the anger and save from regret

It holds the power to love even when there is hate all around

It holds the power to show trust even when times are hard

Do you have that smile?

If this is your smile pass it on to someone today, it would make them smile too. If you are already smiling as you read this, share this with your loved ones.
If you have someone who smiles at you everyday, love them and respect them, hold on to them because they are special.

ESSENTIAL ingredients for healthy relationships in the busy world !! Have you got the right recipe?

In this busy world, we forget to take care of our loved ones, more often because we know they will always be there.

This happens a lot with couples today who love each other so much but with the busy schedules are left with little or no time for each other at the end of the day.

So what should you do if this is your story??

Treat a healthy relationship like a recipe and you will get it right. Below is a list of these essential ingredients for your recipe.

1. Make time for each other.

This is the most obvious one but also the one that we mostly fail to fulfill.

Making time for each other on a daily basis makes your relationship stronger and happier.

Don’t exhaust yourself at work by overtime, unless necessary. This will save you energy and time for him/her.

2. Make them feel special

This is very common one but seldom misunderstood. Making your loved one feel special doesn’t mean taking them on a holiday, or a high rated restaurant every time.

You can make them feel special by doing simple things like bringing them their favourite snack with a special note, or you can order a gift online named to them and surprise them. You can also cross out something on their wish list. (You need to know their heart for this one) Be creative. Plan date nights if you haven’t done before. Plan workout sessions together if you enjoy, or a candle night on the terrace. Bake or cook something for them as a surprise.

You should make your partner feel special regularly. This shows them how much they are important to you and that you care for their happiness.

3. Remember important dates.

This one is always hard for men but the ones who do it hold a special place in their partner’s heart.

Be it birthdays, anniversaries, or the first time you met. Remember these and you are good to go.

4. Compliment each other everyday

This one might seem hard to some, but do it. It makes a huge difference when you nourish someone with compliments.

Tell them how beautiful/handsome they look today. (You can use this one everyday) (see it’s easy)

Tell them you like what they did to their hair, or the new dress or the new beard style. This shows that you took time to notice even the small details about them.

This will surely put a smile on their face even on a not so happy day.

5. Trust and respect their decisions, don’t override them all the time.

A relationship is healthy when both respect each other’s choices.

You should understand that sometimes things may not happen the way you want them to. So be at peace, don’t force your decisions on the other one. Trust their decisions the way they trust yours.

6. Turn off your distractions

This one is a life-saving one, turn off your social media when you are with them. It can adversely affect your relationship when your partner is talking to you and you are busy scrolling your phone for updates.

This often makes one partner feel neglected and frustrated always. Know More

7. Always respect them and appreciate them in front of others.

Don’t ever show their faults to others and make them feel low, always keep up their respect and hide their faults. You can always bring up the matter for discussion in private.

Appreciation is always appreciated by your partner ❤️

Always talk the best about them in front of others, even if it is their or your friends or family. Appreciate their good qualities and don’t make fun of their mistakes along with others. It could be hurtful if you do so.

8. Protect them like a nut in the shell.

If you are in a relationship, your partner is your responsibility. Their self-respect should be important to you too. Don’t let anyone cross the line and be able to hurt them. Speak up when you have to. Don’t hesitate to protect them when they are right because that is the right thing to do.

Don’t leave them alone to deal with the world. Hold their hand and assure them you are with them no matter what it is.

9. Don’t compare them to other people

The grass looks greener on the other side. Respect their individuality and love them for who they are. Nobody is perfect, no matter how perfect someone you think appears to be. Truth is everyone has their own strength and weakness.

When you compare,you are actually telling your partner that they are not adequate for you. This will in-built feelings of resentment, envy, hatred etc.

Show acceptance to your partner for who they are. Celebrate their strengths and achievements.

Remind them you are proud of the person they are and love them even more each day.

These are the most essential ingredients for a healthy recipe, you can always add more as per your taste.

7 signs social media has got you addicted. Take the DIY LITMUS test for each sign today. Beware! Bitter truth ahead!!

Social media has become a integral part of our lives. It is like dal-chawal (Lentils-Rice) (Indian dish consumed daily) which we cannot live without.

What is social media? (This is not your exam, but am sure you won’t be able to define it, if i asked. Try it, if you don’t beleive. )

In simple terms, social media is any digital tool which helps you share content, helps you interact with other users. It enables you to create your content quickly and helps reach millions online with just one click.

Social media has changed the way humans communicate. Although there are abundant benefits of social media, humans are bound to waste things when they get them easily, free and without working hard for it.

While social media was primarily created for people to share good content, information, news, promote global interaction without even needing to be there, social media today has become a medium to judge people anonymously, create controversies, promote racism, spread filthy rumours about anyone and everyone. There are groups of such people who find it pleasurable to disrespect others. This is how it affects the good people out there who were there only for the primary purpose. They become victims to such acts and fall into low self esteem issues, depression and other health issues.

Below are 7 signs social media is affecting your health and getting you addicted.

1. Your phone follows you EVERYWHERE.

LITMUS TEST – Are you carrying your phone to the bathroom?

If you answered yes, you are in a really bad position. Just STOP. Do you know the amount of germs and bacteria you exposed your phone to?

These germs can transfer to your mouth and make you very ill. You can even make others ill by exposing them to you dirty phone.

Stop today if you have developed this habit. Life will not end while you are in the bathroom. Also it is essential to log off from the virtual world for sometime in the day atleast.

2. You are updating everything you do on social media.

Is it difficult for you to enjoy a moment without capturing it and showing it to the world??

You have forgotten to live in the moment. Here’s a small test for you.

LITMUS TEST : Spend a day without uploading anything on social media.

If you successfully did this, Kudos to you!! You are truly enjoying every moment of your life.

If you couldn’t get through the day, it is okay, try again. You will see a big difference in your day when it happens. Because true happiness is not in the virtual world, it’s in those little moments which you miss while uploading them online.

3. Are you constantly tagging your friends in MEME and passing comments and being part of what’s “trending” online?

There has always been this trend of tagging your friends, commenting on news, celebrities, any other people you don’t like. Jokes are good for a while, but there is a fine line between fun and disrespecting. Once line is crossed it can hurt sentiments.

This is what facilitates rumours, racism, online bullying, rivalry and other such issues.

LITMUS TEST : During this month have you been a part of any trend that involved passing hate comments to someone weather a celebrity or political leader or just anyone from your group?

If you answered yes, social media has got the best of you. Its good to have your voice, your opinion about something/someone. But there is no need to show your views by disrespecting someone, bullying someone online, using hate speech and spreading rumours.

This not only makes your mentality stoop to a lower level but also shows the world who you are. There is a reason why things “trend” online. It’s because all of them are doing it. There are good ones and bad ones. It’s your choice to make the world a better place or not.

If you answered no, you are doing good, be a good human before anything else. The world needs good people like you, we are already living in difficult times. Thank you !!

4. Withdrawn from family and friends

If you are having more social friends than real ones, you are living in a virtual world. A person who gets obsessed with social media, often spends his time and energy in it, which often leaves their closed ones feeling neglected.

LITMUS TEST – Has your family member or friend asked you to stop looking into your phone and listen to them first? Or pointed you out how they feel ignored while talking to you?

If yes, you need to make some lifestyle changes and give your loved ones the undivided attention they deserve.

If you answered no, then you really are a good listener and not trapped into social media.

5. Are you always struggling to get a perfect selfie, the perfect lighting, perfect pose, so you could upload online??

People today love to have that perfect selfie because they want to look their best in the pictures. They don’t want the world to see their acne, or the dark circles, or the scar, or the mole on their faces.

Thanks to the galaxy of applications specially designed for their users who want to edit their pictures and remove their imperfections.

LITMUS TEST – Are you applying filters and editing each of your photos to perfection before uploading them online??

If you answered yes, you need to think about the “why” of this question. Why do you want to be someone you are not?

If you answered no, kudos to you for being happy in your own skin and not following the crowd of the virtual world.

This point should make you realise how social media has affected your self-esteem, your mental health.

6. Are you constantly checking your phone just so you do not miss something?

Is it hard for you to stay even a minute without checking your notifications?? Do you know why?

The fear of losing out on something has got you. You fear of missing out on something that is in trend, or latest celebrity news, your friends wherabouts etc.

LITMUS TEST – Do you feel left out or falling behind the crowd if you are away from your phone for even an hour? You feel anxious about who must have texted you? Or how many likes your profile picture must have received? Or if whether people commented on your vlog or not ?

If you answered yes, this will definitely affect your mental health, because you are getting yourself worried, reduce focus and appetite. So learn to stay away from your phone and do something productive and creative for your peace of mind.

If you answered no, that’s good. Social media should not dictate your mood and life.

7. Are you comparing your life with others??

Since everybody is uploading their lives online, nothing is hidden. What they do, what they eat, how they live, what they earn, car they drive, where they spend, everything is available online these days.

Sometimes this leads to comparing ones lives with another. This is the worst thing you could do to yourself.

LITMUS TEST – In last 1 week did you compare your life with someone else and wished if you were in their place??

If you compare, you will always feel adequate, because you will compare someone’s strength with your weakness. If you compare strength with strength even then there will always be someone who is better than you. Understand? Comparison can cause low self-esteem, depression, resentment, jealously and envy towards people.

If you answered no, good for you. You are happy with your own life.

In the end, just realise that virtual world is virtual, no matter how many friends you get, or followers follow you, it can never replace the love and affection of your near and dear ones in real life.

Write your thoughts in the comment section below. Would love to hear your litmus test results and if you gave a thought of changing any habit.

How to take care of your mental health during Quarantine??

After being confined for months at home and with no mobility to the outside world, words like anxiety, stress, depression, bored, exhausted , anger, bad mood have all become a part of daily life journals and affected our mental health in some way at some point of time.

Mental Health refers to an individual’s emotional, psychological and social well being.

It creates an impact on how we think, feel and act on a daily basis. It also influences how we look at ourselves, our lives and others involved in our lives. Mental health also affects how we handle stress and make decisions in our life. Hence, it is not only important to take care of our physical but mental health as well.

We need to start loving ourselves more and promote happy thoughts within ourselves.

If you have never given a thought before about your mental health, then it’s not too late, making simple lifestyle changes can easily keep you on track to good health.

Below are some ways you can start taking care of your mental health

1. Do something you enjoy

Engage in something that you enjoy doing, it could be reading a book, cooking a dessert, watching your favorite series on Netflix, watching a movie, painting a landscape or portrait. It could be just anything, but make sure to do something each day so that your mind gets relaxed and content. This sounds easy but many people wouldn’t even remember when was the last time they did something enjoyable, if asked.

2. Add exercise to your daily routine

Exercise has its proven benefits to our physical and mental health. Exercise can only benefit you when you follow a routine. Starting your day with exercise keeps you active and boosts energy into your body. It also releases chemicals like endorphins, dopamine and serotonin which are responsible for triggering a positive feeling in the body. They help in regulating your mood.

If you are a beginner, you don’t need to do an intense workout, start with a morning walk and some basic yoga poses. For some this will be more than enough for the day and for others this could be a good starting point before moving to a advance workout.

For beginners, its a good idea to start preparing your body by doing these flexibility exercises.

3. Have a healthy and colorful palette of food everyday.

A healthy diet is the one which is rich in nutrition,vitamins, minerals and provides enough calories to the body. You don’t need to follow a specific diet everyday going on counting each calorie. (Unless recommended by a professional for medical purposes) A healthy diet means you are balancing your food plate well and taking care of all food groups.

Try to include all seasonal fruits and vegetables to your plate everyday. Be creative with food. Add all the natural color foods to your plate.

A healthy diet reduces risk of chronic diseases, heart attacks and cancers. It helps maintain your sugar levels and keeps you from getting obese.Healthy diet is associated with good mood, good physique, more energy, better body weight and overall good mental health. Eliminate junk food from your diet completely as it will one day show it’s adverse effects on your mental and physical health, and it will be too late to change. Reduce salty and sugary foods from your diet as they can impact your health too. Unhealthy diet is also a major cause of depression amongst people.

4. Have a good sleep routine

We all are guilty of staying up late in the nights during Lockdown. It could be because you were watching a movie, completing your leftover work, reading etc. It could also be because you have been overthinking about something, feeling stressed or maybe the fear of something happening is eating you up.

But did you know you are carving a path for the negative effects of sleep deprivation??

Sleep deprivation happens when you consistently do not get adequate sleep.

Sleep deprivation can lead to a weak immune system which makes you vulnerable to serious health problems like heart attack, heart failure, diabetes etc.

Sleep deprivation affects your ability to think and make sound judgements

If you have been making wrong decisions for a while and ended up frustrated, sleep deprivation could have been the cause because it clouds your judgement.

Sleep deprivation also aggravates depression and worsens your mental health. It is known to produce stress hormone called cortisol in excess which leads to muscle weakness, high blood sugar etc.

Sleep deprivation is also known to increase weight gain and cause obesity. That is because it disrupts the key hormones that regulate appetite.

Therefore, ensure to sleep atleast 7 hours at night for a healthy mind and heart.

5. Take up a new Hobby.

Taking up a new hobby is a good way to distract your mind from your usual routine and acts as a stress buster. It soothes your mind and channels it towards being more productive.

Learning is a essential part of human survival. Humans have evolved over time because they never gave up learning. If you want to keep your mind healthy and active all the time, develop your interests in new unexplored areas. This will keep your mind curiosity active and alert.

Here are a few tips for you to get started,

If you have never tried to learn a new language, now is the time you can. Learning a new language is always interesting and it opens new doors of communication with people out of your comfort zone. Also it will boost your confidence and take you to a new level.

You must have seen the trend of baking throughout this lockdown, every other person is baking their own food. Research has proved that baking releases endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine which are all happy hormones. You can try baking a simple banana bread, or a simple cake with few ingredients. There are abundant videos on YouTube and blogs that are meant for beginners only.

6. Be Social and seek help.

If you have always bottled up your emotions, it is time to make some changes for the sake of your mental health. You might say it’s easy said than done. You are right!

You will have to make a effort for this one, you will have to gather all the courage you can and try put your trust in some other human of your kind. You have to open up your heart to them just like you open a book and show them everything, how you feel, how your emotions are eating you up, how lonely your heart is sometimes, how you get thoughts about wishing you were dead and get over with it.

It’s time you think of yourself, it’s time to let go of things and begin to see the light across the tunnel and run towards it. Surely you will not regret what you did for yourself in the coming years. You will be proud you made that decision. And when you share it all, you would have relieved your load, the burden on your head and in your heart you have been carrying for so long and start feeling better like never before. THIS WORKS!!

As I always say don’t lose yourself for people who don’t value you and make you feel low about yourself. It is human nature to never be pleased, so don’t lose yourself please.

If you don’t find anybody you can trust and share your load, don’t think twice to seek a professional. Don’t ever feel ashamed or weak for doing so. You are doing it so you can be stronger and happier.

Why waste life just because someone couldn’t understand you? Or you lost something that was temporary.

There is much more to life that meets the eye. Change your perspective and look at the world again. You will find peace and tranquility.

STOP Comparing your loved ones and yourself with others !! Today!!

Are you guilty of comparing your loved ones or yourself to someone around you??

Did you grow up being always told to be like your siblings, or some random kid in the class or in your parent’s friend circle ? Is this sounding common to you??

This is the root cause of comparision, it all starts from childhood and the cycle continues, the same kid grows up being compared all his life and then does the same with his own kids too and this vicious cycle continues.

Now, what’s wrong with comparision? Aren’t you encouraging your child or friend or lover to be better by showing how others are doing it??

NO, YOU ARE PREPARING THEM FOR LOW SELF ESTEEM ISSUES WHICH WILL EVENTUALLY PUT THEM INTO DEPRESSION.

This not only happens to kids, but with adults too who once happened to be strong individuals who then lost themselves in this chaotic world.

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO ENCOURAGE SOMEONE FOR THEIR BETTERMENT??

1. CELEBRATE THEIR INDIVIDUALITY. You need to understand human nature, every human has a set of skills, a temperament, their level of understanding which is unique from another human. This is FACT. Don’t try to alter and don’t try to make someone what they can’t be. Be at peace with their identity.

2. SUGGEST THEM, DONT FORCE. You know people become defensive when something is forced on them. Be it rituals, behaviours, rigid rules, culture norms etc. Ever faced anger moments when you stopped your friend from drinking? Or from husband/wife when you stopped them from behaving a certain way? Or from a kid whom you stopped for throwing tantrums?

3. APPRECIATE THEIR STRENGTHS The times we live in, it is hard for people to appreciate even their loved ones, hardwork goes unnoticed, small love gestures go unnoticed. Why? Wives are not appreciated by husbands for the work they put because it’s considered a obligation and vice versa. Kids are not appreciated by parents for scoring average marks because he was expected to get first-class. Couples don’t appreciate their elderly parents who brought them up for all the years. Friends don’t appreciate each other who go out of the way to make them feel special because some other friend did a bigger and even better act for them. Why? Why have people become so harsh to each other? Relax, it’s time to appreciate the little things in life, focus on people’s strengths, ignore their weaknesses because we all have in us.

4. DONT TALK, COMMUNICATE AT DEEPER LEVELS. Most of the people don’t know the difference between talking and holding a meaningful conversation. In this technology trapped world it is very easy to avoid much communication with anyone. This is a major cause which changes people’s behaviour towards their loved ones. Are you guilty of making someone feel lonely in a relationship? You definitely owe an apology. When was the last time you interacted with your loved one without any gadgets around, away from your screen. It is common to see one person talking, and the other one replying while using their smart screens. This often leaves the other person feeling neglected and less valued. If you are serious about your relation, make an effort to listen to them, come up with solutions, comfort them with your warmth, don’t brush of their worries just because you feel they are vague and not a big deal. Show empathy and affection, if they share it with you, it took a lot of courage to even speak about it. So don’t judge anybody for anything, you don’t have that right.

Everyone deserves to be treated best, don’t judge people or compare people.

When you compare each other, you don’t know the damage you are doing to their mental health, the person eventually will lose himself trying to meet those expectations and fall into depression which can even cost their life. This is a serious issue, respect each other for who they are. Follow positive constructiveness in relations and most important do it together, hand in hand. That’s when life will become meaningful.

Finding yourself in the chaos of this world…

The world today is such a place,

Chaos is what is left of today,

With every being struggling to live, we can no more rely on someone elses’s will

It’s hard to have your opinion in this world, but remember it’s the only thing you will not regret.

Most are those who will give you words of sympathy and say time will change everything and move on, rare are those who hold your hand and say I will be with you through this time.

Don’t lose yourself trying to meet everybody’s expectations, it is human nature to never be pleased.

Don’t lose yourself for someone who doesn’t respect your feelings, for that person will never know the sweetness of affection and empathy.

Don’t lose yourself for those who make you feel less capable, they don’t know what you were before you met them.

Dont lose yourself for those who blame you for the situation, they will not admit their role which led to it.

Don’t lose yourself for those who do not value your tears, they can sleep as you cry alone.

Don’t lose yourself for those who don’t make you feel as their priority in life, if they are not doing now, they never will.

Don’t lose yourself for those who do not encourage you to your goals, they are the ones who never had dreams.

Don’t lose yourself for those who think you are not strong, they are unaware of the struggles that made you strongest. They are unaware that you chose them to show your scars because of the love you have for them, you chose to show the side of you the world had never seen.

Find yourself, pull yourself out from the chaos. You can do it because you were always the strong one, don’t let others pull you down with them. There are always those rare people around you who will be happy to see your shine. Live for them.

Finally we are what choices we make for ourselves. Depend on noone for your well being and happiness. This is the best you can do for yourself in this chaotic world. Period.