Being happy is a choice

While you think about the things you don’t have.

There is someone who is being grateful for what they got.

While you count the sorrows in your life.

There is someone who is counting their blessings.

While you see the half cup empty.

There is someone who sees their half cup full.

While you wait for validation by the world.

There is someone who has no choice but to beleive in themselves.

-JoyfulSolitude
Alina R

The friend that stabbed you – In Front

What is better than a friend who betrays you ? An enemy. Right

But does an enemy really exist? Is it true that you can have enemy and friends.

Think again. When you think deeply you will realise the one you calling your enemy was once a friend to you. You cannot have a stranger as your enemy right. It’s a known person and enemy is a strong word to use for someone.

So a friend who betrays you has qualified to be an enemy in your mind.

It’s all in your mind. The definitions of friends and enemies are generated in the minds, it dominates your behaviour towards them. These definations are different from person to person because two people cannot think exactly the same. They process the information differently and attain different perspectives about the situation.

What we want to focus today is have you termed your good friend to be in your enemy category? It’s a trend these days. Surely you wouldn’t be using the word “enemy” to refer them. But you treat them exactly the same way.

You would block them on social media. Ignore their calls, distant yourself from them. Blame them for whatever happened to you. Make them feel guilty of their actions. Give them the silent treatment indefinitely.

Sounds familiar right? You must be justifying yourself by saying they deserve it because they did the injustice to you. But deep in your heart you know you love them so much and want everything to be like before.

Well this dilemma, it’s your inner voice, your gut. Just listen to it. If you get this feeling for someone then you are right, it’s time to let go and get them back to you.

Think about the reason what they did to you. I am by your side if they really violated your soul and compromised your self respect and dignity. Then it’s better to keep them away from your life.

But if they dint do something harsh, or they did something with the right intention thinking of your betterment then you might have been wrong about them.

A friend that says bitter truths to you on your face is truly your friend not your enemy. Don’t abandon them. You may not find such people nowadays as they are so rare. People who deeply care about you, who can’t stand something wrong being done by others to you. They see right through the faces of people who wish to hurt you. But you don’t beleive them and put them aside. The future generations will not feel friendships like we do. You are lucky to have even a single friend in your life.

Life is too short to be unhappy with your closed ones. Don’t give up the many good moments you had and can have for the one bad one. All relations go through ups and downs and it’s okay. It’s okay to be angry, sad, disappointed. But don’t let it get the better of you.

“Bounce back like a boomerang and you are good to go

A friend that stabs you in front is better than the back who stabs you from back. “

Let them blossom

Have you been in an relationship?

For most of you it’s a yes. And the rest will eventually be.

What is the most important thing that keeps you together? You would say love, trust, loyalty etc.

That’s correct, it is what keeps you together indeed.

Now, what is the most dangerous thing that can break your relationship?

You would say betrayal, insecurity, obsession etc.

That’s correct, it is what breaks your relationships. But there is one more important aspect which you do not see.

That is “time”. Are you giving enough time to your relationship?

As fast the days pass by, we want everything instantly. Instant food, instant results, instant happiness, instant rewards, instant relationships. Just Instant EVERYTHING.

Anything that is not instant becomes Old School. Correct?

Well, honestly old school will always be the best no matter what time frame you switch to. You know why?

That’s because old school was the foundation of things that was turned to instant.

Just remember, anything that you get instantly in relationships will always be temporary. True relationships need time, effort, communication, dedication and a lot of nurturing from both the sides. A relationship cannot thrive on expensive gifts, luxury dates or text messages.

Take time to make that one phone call instead of texting to check on them. Take time to understand their interests instead of browsing their Facebook profiles. Take time to dwell in their world and see the world through their eyes.

Instead of plucking them from their world for yours, let them blossom where they are.

-JoyfulSolitude

What is the most important thing for you in a relationship ? Do comment below to share your experience.

The most misunderstood emotion – SILENCE

The most misunderstood emotion

SILENCE

When someone is silent they are not always angry, they are deeply Hurt

When someone is silent they are not arrogant, they chose to be humble by letting go and moving on

When someone is silent they are not disrespectful, they chose to respect you by not hurting you back

When someone is silent, you cannot hear them cry, their heart is learning to hold it inside

When someone is silent they are not hating you, they are loving you without showing it

When someone is silent they are not weak, they are one of the strongest people you ever met

When someone is silent they are not guilty, they don’t feel the need to prove their innocence to you

When someone is silent they do not despair, they hold the rope of hope for a better day

When someone is silent it is not a reaction, it is a thoughtful response.

Silence is not shallow, it is deep and rarely people understand it.

-JoyfulSolitude

How to declutter your life in short time with practical solutions

These days we all are so occupied with work and chores, it takes up all of our time and energy.

As we work we also pile up a lot of clutter and we procrastinate as long as we can until it gets too stressful and finally you have to get rid of it at any cost.

Below are some ways you can declutter your life

1. Create your to-do list everyday

Make a list of tasks to be done a night before everyday.

This is a great start for the day, you get your tasks for the day in the morning.

Arrange your tasks starting from the one most important to least important. This way you would have completed all your important tasks by the end of the day.

It is also a satisfying stress buster to cross out tasks from your to-do list.

2. Maintain a cleaning schedule for your house and office desk

It doesn’t need to be stressed how essential it is to keep your trash in trash and not somewhere else.

Keeping our areas clean gives us mental peace and keeps away from the anxiety.

C\nThese days we all are so occupied with work and chores, it takes up all of our time and energy.\n \nAs we work we also pile up a lot of clutter and we procrastinate as long as we can until it gets too stressful and finally you have to get rid of it at any cost.\n \nBelow are some ways you can declutter your life\n \n1. Create your to-do list everyday\n \n\n \nMake a list of tasks to be done a night before everyday.\n \nThis is a great start for the day, you get your tasks for the day in the morning.\n \nArrange your tasks starting from the one most important to least important. This way you would have completed all your important tasks by the end of the day.\n \nIt is also a satisfying stress buster to cross out tasks from your to-do list.\n \n2. Maintain a cleaning schedule for your house and office desk\n \n\n \nIt doesn\’t need to be stressed how essential it is to keep your trash in trash and not somewhere else.\n \nKeeping our areas clean gives us mental peace and keeps away from the anxiety.\n \nCreate a schedule for cleaning and follow it. For example : You could clean your bedroom clutter on every Saturday\’s. You could clean your office mess every Tuesdays.\n \nYou could even try doing things on a daily basis to avoid one day pile ups later. For example – You could make the effort of throwing unwanted bills everyday you come back from grocery. You could throw unwanted paper prints right away. You could keep your desk clean by allowing only the most necessary item to display on it. See that\’s easy to start with.\n \n3. Start being a minimalist\n \n\n \nThis can actually create a huge difference in your life. The person who lives a good life even with the minimum resources fits to the defination of a minimalist. This is actually a trending topic this season.\n \nAll you have to do this is, stand in front of the place that you want to declutter, now you need to pick things that you can\’t survive without. Keep them aside. This is all you need in your place. Try and get rid of the leftover after this excercise.\n \nReducing the amount of items and products you use, provides a mental stability and relaxation. You have less things to worry about. It enables you to focus on work and other things which are more important.\n \nYou should definitely do this exercise for your wardrobe, work desk, study table and kitchen area, bathrooms, makeup rooms.\n \nThis will also teach you the art of letting go as we are so habitual to holding on things. Now that\’s a deep thought isn\’t it ?\n \n4. Move away from TOXIC people\n \n\n \nToxic people are nothing more than clutter in your life.\n \nStop wasting your time dealing with toxic people. Move away from them and that\’s the best for you.\n \nFocus your energy in spending time with like-minded people instead of dealing with the disturbances created by negative people.\n \nYou become what company you be with. So always keep positive people around who boost you towards your goals.\n \n5. Get rid of digital clutter \n\n \nWe live in a digitised world where we spend most of our time staring in our phones and screens.\n \nRemember the last time you had enough free storage for your photos and videos in your phone??\n \nExactly. It felt stress free and enabled you to capture your moments.\n \nThus, you must regularly clean your phone by deleting unwanted apps and taking regular backups to your pc to avoid full memory.\n \n6. Get rid of extra furniture around you\n \nThis is a uncommon one, probably because it\’s actually hard to get rid of your furniture already there for years.\n \nBut, do you know how much we get trapped between those rectangular boxes placed inside our enclosed square walls ??\n \nDo you remember the last time you went to a serene place?? A place where it was all green and open ??\n \n\n \nYou could feel the fresh air passing through your face, refreshed your mood, you could hear the birds sing, the leaves dance with the wind.\n \nThink of all the reasons why you felt what you felt at that moment.\n \nYou will realise that the human brain likes freedom, it likes open spaces, it likes to see as far it can see, it finds warmth in the lap of nature. It tunes with the rhythm of nature and brings the mind and soul at peace. It helps you brainstorm and makes you productive.\n \nSo imagine, how the body feels when it gets trapped between the house walls.\n \nMoreover if you fill your small room with furniture all around, your brain gets trapped. It cannot think and get to that level of peace. Everytime it wants to think something out of the box, it will only see another box in front of it. This is deep to understand for some, but if you do then make changes to your lifestyle today and you will see the difference.\n \nKeep your rooms with basic furniture needed. Don\’t add extra storage, reduce your clutter. Give up on clothes you don\’t wear, things you don\’t use, books you don\’t read etc. Add some plants to your room, green is always good for the eyes.\n \n\n \nLastly, below are a few plants for you to get started.\n \n\n \n\n \n\n \n\n \nreate a schedule for cleaning and follow it. For example : You could clean your bedroom clutter on every Saturday’s. You could clean your office mess every Tuesdays.

You could even try doing things on a daily basis to avoid one day pile ups later. For example – You could make the effort of throwing unwanted bills everyday you come back from grocery. You could throw unwanted paper prints right away. You could keep your desk clean by allowing only the most necessary item to display on it. See that’s easy to start with.

3. Start being a minimalist

This can actually create a huge difference in your life. The person who lives a good life even with the minimum resources fits to the defination of a minimalist. This is actually a trending topic this season.

All you have to do this is, stand in front of the place that you want to declutter, now you need to pick things that you can’t survive without. Keep them aside. This is all you need in your place. Try and get rid of the leftover after this excercise.

Reducing the amount of items and products you use, provides a mental stability and relaxation. You have less things to worry about. It enables you to focus on work and other things which are more important.

You should definitely do this exercise for your wardrobe, work desk, study table and kitchen area, bathrooms, makeup rooms.

This will also teach you the art of letting go as we are so habitual to holding on things. Now that’s a deep thought isn’t it ?

4. Move away from TOXIC people

Toxic people are nothing more than clutter in your life.

Stop wasting your time dealing with toxic people. Move away from them and that’s the best for you.

Focus your energy in spending time with like-minded people instead of dealing with the disturbances created by negative people.

You become what company you be with. So always keep positive people around who boost you towards your goals.

5. Get rid of digital clutter

We live in a digitised world where we spend most of our time staring in our phones and screens.

Remember the last time you had enough free storage for your photos and videos in your phone??

Exactly. It felt stress free and enabled you to capture your moments.

Thus, you must regularly clean your phone by deleting unwanted apps and taking regular backups to your pc to avoid full memory.

6. Get rid of extra furniture around you

This is a uncommon one, probably because it’s actually hard to get rid of your furniture already there for years.

But, do you know how much we get trapped between those rectangular boxes placed inside our enclosed square walls ??

Do you remember the last time you went to a serene place?? A place where it was all green and open ??

You could feel the fresh air passing through your face, refreshed your mood, you could hear the birds sing, the leaves dance with the wind.

Think of all the reasons why you felt what you felt at that moment.

You will realise that the human brain likes freedom, it likes open spaces, it likes to see as far it can see, it finds warmth in the lap of nature. It tunes with the rhythm of nature and brings the mind and soul at peace. It helps you brainstorm and makes you productive.

So imagine, how the body feels when it gets trapped between the house walls.

Moreover if you fill your small room with furniture all around, your brain gets trapped. It cannot think and get to that level of peace. Everytime it wants to think something out of the box, it will only see another box in front of it. This is deep to understand for some, but if you do then make changes to your lifestyle today and you will see the difference.

Keep your rooms with basic furniture needed. Don’t add extra storage, reduce your clutter. Give up on clothes you don’t wear, things you don’t use, books you don’t read etc. Add some plants to your room, green is always good for the eyes.

Lastly, below are a few plants for you to get started.

Do you have that smile??

Do you have that smile??

The one that touches the soul and imprints it with joy. That smile is contagious, it has the glitter in the eyes and gold in the heart.

It holds the power to mend the broken hearts

It holds the power to make you smile even when you don’t want to

It holds the power to change your mood even when you had a rough day,

It holds the power to turn the hearts from hard to soft

It holds the power to turn the frown to joy

It holds the power to turn the poverty of emotions to richness of emotions

It holds the power to change the rivalry to friendship

It holds the power to stop the tongue from uttering that hurtful word

It holds the power to cool down the anger and save from regret

It holds the power to love even when there is hate all around

It holds the power to show trust even when times are hard

Do you have that smile?

If this is your smile pass it on to someone today, it would make them smile too. If you are already smiling as you read this, share this with your loved ones.
If you have someone who smiles at you everyday, love them and respect them, hold on to them because they are special.

How to take care of your mental health during Quarantine??

After being confined for months at home and with no mobility to the outside world, words like anxiety, stress, depression, bored, exhausted , anger, bad mood have all become a part of daily life journals and affected our mental health in some way at some point of time.

Mental Health refers to an individual’s emotional, psychological and social well being.

It creates an impact on how we think, feel and act on a daily basis. It also influences how we look at ourselves, our lives and others involved in our lives. Mental health also affects how we handle stress and make decisions in our life. Hence, it is not only important to take care of our physical but mental health as well.

We need to start loving ourselves more and promote happy thoughts within ourselves.

If you have never given a thought before about your mental health, then it’s not too late, making simple lifestyle changes can easily keep you on track to good health.

Below are some ways you can start taking care of your mental health

1. Do something you enjoy

Engage in something that you enjoy doing, it could be reading a book, cooking a dessert, watching your favorite series on Netflix, watching a movie, painting a landscape or portrait. It could be just anything, but make sure to do something each day so that your mind gets relaxed and content. This sounds easy but many people wouldn’t even remember when was the last time they did something enjoyable, if asked.

2. Add exercise to your daily routine

Exercise has its proven benefits to our physical and mental health. Exercise can only benefit you when you follow a routine. Starting your day with exercise keeps you active and boosts energy into your body. It also releases chemicals like endorphins, dopamine and serotonin which are responsible for triggering a positive feeling in the body. They help in regulating your mood.

If you are a beginner, you don’t need to do an intense workout, start with a morning walk and some basic yoga poses. For some this will be more than enough for the day and for others this could be a good starting point before moving to a advance workout.

For beginners, its a good idea to start preparing your body by doing these flexibility exercises.

3. Have a healthy and colorful palette of food everyday.

A healthy diet is the one which is rich in nutrition,vitamins, minerals and provides enough calories to the body. You don’t need to follow a specific diet everyday going on counting each calorie. (Unless recommended by a professional for medical purposes) A healthy diet means you are balancing your food plate well and taking care of all food groups.

Try to include all seasonal fruits and vegetables to your plate everyday. Be creative with food. Add all the natural color foods to your plate.

A healthy diet reduces risk of chronic diseases, heart attacks and cancers. It helps maintain your sugar levels and keeps you from getting obese.Healthy diet is associated with good mood, good physique, more energy, better body weight and overall good mental health. Eliminate junk food from your diet completely as it will one day show it’s adverse effects on your mental and physical health, and it will be too late to change. Reduce salty and sugary foods from your diet as they can impact your health too. Unhealthy diet is also a major cause of depression amongst people.

4. Have a good sleep routine

We all are guilty of staying up late in the nights during Lockdown. It could be because you were watching a movie, completing your leftover work, reading etc. It could also be because you have been overthinking about something, feeling stressed or maybe the fear of something happening is eating you up.

But did you know you are carving a path for the negative effects of sleep deprivation??

Sleep deprivation happens when you consistently do not get adequate sleep.

Sleep deprivation can lead to a weak immune system which makes you vulnerable to serious health problems like heart attack, heart failure, diabetes etc.

Sleep deprivation affects your ability to think and make sound judgements

If you have been making wrong decisions for a while and ended up frustrated, sleep deprivation could have been the cause because it clouds your judgement.

Sleep deprivation also aggravates depression and worsens your mental health. It is known to produce stress hormone called cortisol in excess which leads to muscle weakness, high blood sugar etc.

Sleep deprivation is also known to increase weight gain and cause obesity. That is because it disrupts the key hormones that regulate appetite.

Therefore, ensure to sleep atleast 7 hours at night for a healthy mind and heart.

5. Take up a new Hobby.

Taking up a new hobby is a good way to distract your mind from your usual routine and acts as a stress buster. It soothes your mind and channels it towards being more productive.

Learning is a essential part of human survival. Humans have evolved over time because they never gave up learning. If you want to keep your mind healthy and active all the time, develop your interests in new unexplored areas. This will keep your mind curiosity active and alert.

Here are a few tips for you to get started,

If you have never tried to learn a new language, now is the time you can. Learning a new language is always interesting and it opens new doors of communication with people out of your comfort zone. Also it will boost your confidence and take you to a new level.

You must have seen the trend of baking throughout this lockdown, every other person is baking their own food. Research has proved that baking releases endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine which are all happy hormones. You can try baking a simple banana bread, or a simple cake with few ingredients. There are abundant videos on YouTube and blogs that are meant for beginners only.

6. Be Social and seek help.

If you have always bottled up your emotions, it is time to make some changes for the sake of your mental health. You might say it’s easy said than done. You are right!

You will have to make a effort for this one, you will have to gather all the courage you can and try put your trust in some other human of your kind. You have to open up your heart to them just like you open a book and show them everything, how you feel, how your emotions are eating you up, how lonely your heart is sometimes, how you get thoughts about wishing you were dead and get over with it.

It’s time you think of yourself, it’s time to let go of things and begin to see the light across the tunnel and run towards it. Surely you will not regret what you did for yourself in the coming years. You will be proud you made that decision. And when you share it all, you would have relieved your load, the burden on your head and in your heart you have been carrying for so long and start feeling better like never before. THIS WORKS!!

As I always say don’t lose yourself for people who don’t value you and make you feel low about yourself. It is human nature to never be pleased, so don’t lose yourself please.

If you don’t find anybody you can trust and share your load, don’t think twice to seek a professional. Don’t ever feel ashamed or weak for doing so. You are doing it so you can be stronger and happier.

Why waste life just because someone couldn’t understand you? Or you lost something that was temporary.

There is much more to life that meets the eye. Change your perspective and look at the world again. You will find peace and tranquility.

STOP Comparing your loved ones and yourself with others !! Today!!

Are you guilty of comparing your loved ones or yourself to someone around you??

Did you grow up being always told to be like your siblings, or some random kid in the class or in your parent’s friend circle ? Is this sounding common to you??

This is the root cause of comparision, it all starts from childhood and the cycle continues, the same kid grows up being compared all his life and then does the same with his own kids too and this vicious cycle continues.

Now, what’s wrong with comparision? Aren’t you encouraging your child or friend or lover to be better by showing how others are doing it??

NO, YOU ARE PREPARING THEM FOR LOW SELF ESTEEM ISSUES WHICH WILL EVENTUALLY PUT THEM INTO DEPRESSION.

This not only happens to kids, but with adults too who once happened to be strong individuals who then lost themselves in this chaotic world.

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO ENCOURAGE SOMEONE FOR THEIR BETTERMENT??

1. CELEBRATE THEIR INDIVIDUALITY. You need to understand human nature, every human has a set of skills, a temperament, their level of understanding which is unique from another human. This is FACT. Don’t try to alter and don’t try to make someone what they can’t be. Be at peace with their identity.

2. SUGGEST THEM, DONT FORCE. You know people become defensive when something is forced on them. Be it rituals, behaviours, rigid rules, culture norms etc. Ever faced anger moments when you stopped your friend from drinking? Or from husband/wife when you stopped them from behaving a certain way? Or from a kid whom you stopped for throwing tantrums?

3. APPRECIATE THEIR STRENGTHS The times we live in, it is hard for people to appreciate even their loved ones, hardwork goes unnoticed, small love gestures go unnoticed. Why? Wives are not appreciated by husbands for the work they put because it’s considered a obligation and vice versa. Kids are not appreciated by parents for scoring average marks because he was expected to get first-class. Couples don’t appreciate their elderly parents who brought them up for all the years. Friends don’t appreciate each other who go out of the way to make them feel special because some other friend did a bigger and even better act for them. Why? Why have people become so harsh to each other? Relax, it’s time to appreciate the little things in life, focus on people’s strengths, ignore their weaknesses because we all have in us.

4. DONT TALK, COMMUNICATE AT DEEPER LEVELS. Most of the people don’t know the difference between talking and holding a meaningful conversation. In this technology trapped world it is very easy to avoid much communication with anyone. This is a major cause which changes people’s behaviour towards their loved ones. Are you guilty of making someone feel lonely in a relationship? You definitely owe an apology. When was the last time you interacted with your loved one without any gadgets around, away from your screen. It is common to see one person talking, and the other one replying while using their smart screens. This often leaves the other person feeling neglected and less valued. If you are serious about your relation, make an effort to listen to them, come up with solutions, comfort them with your warmth, don’t brush of their worries just because you feel they are vague and not a big deal. Show empathy and affection, if they share it with you, it took a lot of courage to even speak about it. So don’t judge anybody for anything, you don’t have that right.

Everyone deserves to be treated best, don’t judge people or compare people.

When you compare each other, you don’t know the damage you are doing to their mental health, the person eventually will lose himself trying to meet those expectations and fall into depression which can even cost their life. This is a serious issue, respect each other for who they are. Follow positive constructiveness in relations and most important do it together, hand in hand. That’s when life will become meaningful.