Happiness is a choice you can make everyday View More
What is better than a friend who betrays you ? An enemy. Right
But does an enemy really exist? Is it true that you can have enemy and friends.
Think again. When you think deeply you will realise the one you calling your enemy was once a friend to you. You cannot have a stranger as your enemy right. It’s a known person and enemy is a strong word to use for someone.
So a friend who betrays you has qualified to be an enemy in your mind.
It’s all in your mind. The definitions of friends and enemies are generated in the minds, it dominates your behaviour towards them. These definations are different from person to person because two people cannot think exactly the same. They process the information differently and attain different perspectives about the situation.
What we want to focus today is have you termed your good friend to be in your enemy category? It’s a trend these days. Surely you wouldn’t be using the word “enemy” to refer them. But you treat them exactly the same way.
You would block them on social media. Ignore their calls, distant yourself from them. Blame them for whatever happened to you. Make them feel guilty of their actions. Give them the silent treatment indefinitely.
Sounds familiar right? You must be justifying yourself by saying they deserve it because they did the injustice to you. But deep in your heart you know you love them so much and want everything to be like before.
Well this dilemma, it’s your inner voice, your gut. Just listen to it. If you get this feeling for someone then you are right, it’s time to let go and get them back to you.
Think about the reason what they did to you. I am by your side if they really violated your soul and compromised your self respect and dignity. Then it’s better to keep them away from your life.
But if they dint do something harsh, or they did something with the right intention thinking of your betterment then you might have been wrong about them.
A friend that says bitter truths to you on your face is truly your friend not your enemy. Don’t abandon them. You may not find such people nowadays as they are so rare. People who deeply care about you, who can’t stand something wrong being done by others to you. They see right through the faces of people who wish to hurt you. But you don’t beleive them and put them aside. The future generations will not feel friendships like we do. You are lucky to have even a single friend in your life.
Life is too short to be unhappy with your closed ones. Don’t give up the many good moments you had and can have for the one bad one. All relations go through ups and downs and it’s okay. It’s okay to be angry, sad, disappointed. But don’t let it get the better of you.
“Bounce back like a boomerang and you are good to go
A friend that stabs you in front is better than the back who stabs you from back. “
The man down the lane once asked who I am?
People said he was selfish, only cared about himself. The man was considerate but it wasn’t always noticed.
People said he was insensitive, dint show emotions. The man always struggled to express his bottled up emotions.
People said he was racist, supported only his kind. The man was a victim of racism and hatred and chose to support his kind so they don’t feel humiliated like he did.
People said he was a coward, did not support feminism. The man was once thrown into jail for false accusations by a woman.
People said he was unlucky for love, nobody liked him. The man once trusted someone and gave his heart, only to be broken by betrayal.
People said he never tried enough. The man was exhausted trying every possible way and it dint work.
People said he was a depressed man, trying to end his life. The man was only struggling to find his place in the society which was so judgemental and sharp as a knife.
The most misunderstood emotion
When someone is silent they are not always angry, they are deeply Hurt
When someone is silent they are not arrogant, they chose to be humble by letting go and moving on
When someone is silent they are not disrespectful, they chose to respect you by not hurting you back
When someone is silent, you cannot hear them cry, their heart is learning to hold it inside
When someone is silent they are not hating you, they are loving you without showing it
When someone is silent they are not weak, they are one of the strongest people you ever met
When someone is silent they are not guilty, they don’t feel the need to prove their innocence to you
When someone is silent they do not despair, they hold the rope of hope for a better day
When someone is silent it is not a reaction, it is a thoughtful response.
Silence is not shallow, it is deep and rarely people understand it.
In this busy world, we forget to take care of our loved ones, more often because we know they will always be there.
This happens a lot with couples today who love each other so much but with the busy schedules are left with little or no time for each other at the end of the day.
So what should you do if this is your story??
Treat a healthy relationship like a recipe and you will get it right. Below is a list of these essential ingredients for your recipe.
1. Make time for each other.
This is the most obvious one but also the one that we mostly fail to fulfill.
Making time for each other on a daily basis makes your relationship stronger and happier.
Don’t exhaust yourself at work by overtime, unless necessary. This will save you energy and time for him/her.
2. Make them feel special
This is very common one but seldom misunderstood. Making your loved one feel special doesn’t mean taking them on a holiday, or a high rated restaurant every time.
You can make them feel special by doing simple things like bringing them their favourite snack with a special note, or you can order a gift online named to them and surprise them. You can also cross out something on their wish list. (You need to know their heart for this one) Be creative. Plan date nights if you haven’t done before. Plan workout sessions together if you enjoy, or a candle night on the terrace. Bake or cook something for them as a surprise.
You should make your partner feel special regularly. This shows them how much they are important to you and that you care for their happiness.
3. Remember important dates.
This one is always hard for men but the ones who do it hold a special place in their partner’s heart.
Be it birthdays, anniversaries, or the first time you met. Remember these and you are good to go.
4. Compliment each other everyday
This one might seem hard to some, but do it. It makes a huge difference when you nourish someone with compliments.
Tell them how beautiful/handsome they look today. (You can use this one everyday) (see it’s easy)
Tell them you like what they did to their hair, or the new dress or the new beard style. This shows that you took time to notice even the small details about them.
This will surely put a smile on their face even on a not so happy day.
5. Trust and respect their decisions, don’t override them all the time.
A relationship is healthy when both respect each other’s choices.
You should understand that sometimes things may not happen the way you want them to. So be at peace, don’t force your decisions on the other one. Trust their decisions the way they trust yours.
6. Turn off your distractions
This one is a life-saving one, turn off your social media when you are with them. It can adversely affect your relationship when your partner is talking to you and you are busy scrolling your phone for updates.
This often makes one partner feel neglected and frustrated always. Know More…
7. Always respect them and appreciate them in front of others.
Don’t ever show their faults to others and make them feel low, always keep up their respect and hide their faults. You can always bring up the matter for discussion in private.
Appreciation is always appreciated by your partner ❤️
Always talk the best about them in front of others, even if it is their or your friends or family. Appreciate their good qualities and don’t make fun of their mistakes along with others. It could be hurtful if you do so.
8. Protect them like a nut in the shell.
If you are in a relationship, your partner is your responsibility. Their self-respect should be important to you too. Don’t let anyone cross the line and be able to hurt them. Speak up when you have to. Don’t hesitate to protect them when they are right because that is the right thing to do.
Don’t leave them alone to deal with the world. Hold their hand and assure them you are with them no matter what it is.
9. Don’t compare them to other people
The grass looks greener on the other side. Respect their individuality and love them for who they are. Nobody is perfect, no matter how perfect someone you think appears to be. Truth is everyone has their own strength and weakness.
When you compare,you are actually telling your partner that they are not adequate for you. This will in-built feelings of resentment, envy, hatred etc.
Show acceptance to your partner for who they are. Celebrate their strengths and achievements.
Remind them you are proud of the person they are and love them even more each day.
These are the most essential ingredients for a healthy recipe, you can always add more as per your taste.
Social media has become a integral part of our lives. It is like dal-chawal (Lentils-Rice) (Indian dish consumed daily) which we cannot live without.
What is social media? (This is not your exam, but am sure you won’t be able to define it, if i asked. Try it, if you don’t beleive. )
In simple terms, social media is any digital tool which helps you share content, helps you interact with other users. It enables you to create your content quickly and helps reach millions online with just one click.
Social media has changed the way humans communicate. Although there are abundant benefits of social media, humans are bound to waste things when they get them easily, free and without working hard for it.
While social media was primarily created for people to share good content, information, news, promote global interaction without even needing to be there, social media today has become a medium to judge people anonymously, create controversies, promote racism, spread filthy rumours about anyone and everyone. There are groups of such people who find it pleasurable to disrespect others. This is how it affects the good people out there who were there only for the primary purpose. They become victims to such acts and fall into low self esteem issues, depression and other health issues.
Below are 7 signs social media is affecting your health and getting you addicted.
1. Your phone follows you EVERYWHERE.
LITMUS TEST – Are you carrying your phone to the bathroom?
If you answered yes, you are in a really bad position. Just STOP. Do you know the amount of germs and bacteria you exposed your phone to?
These germs can transfer to your mouth and make you very ill. You can even make others ill by exposing them to you dirty phone.
Stop today if you have developed this habit. Life will not end while you are in the bathroom. Also it is essential to log off from the virtual world for sometime in the day atleast.
2. You are updating everything you do on social media.
Is it difficult for you to enjoy a moment without capturing it and showing it to the world??
You have forgotten to live in the moment. Here’s a small test for you.
LITMUS TEST : Spend a day without uploading anything on social media.
If you successfully did this, Kudos to you!! You are truly enjoying every moment of your life.
If you couldn’t get through the day, it is okay, try again. You will see a big difference in your day when it happens. Because true happiness is not in the virtual world, it’s in those little moments which you miss while uploading them online.
3. Are you constantly tagging your friends in MEME and passing comments and being part of what’s “trending” online?
There has always been this trend of tagging your friends, commenting on news, celebrities, any other people you don’t like. Jokes are good for a while, but there is a fine line between fun and disrespecting. Once line is crossed it can hurt sentiments.
This is what facilitates rumours, racism, online bullying, rivalry and other such issues.
LITMUS TEST : During this month have you been a part of any trend that involved passing hate comments to someone weather a celebrity or political leader or just anyone from your group?
If you answered yes, social media has got the best of you. Its good to have your voice, your opinion about something/someone. But there is no need to show your views by disrespecting someone, bullying someone online, using hate speech and spreading rumours.
This not only makes your mentality stoop to a lower level but also shows the world who you are. There is a reason why things “trend” online. It’s because all of them are doing it. There are good ones and bad ones. It’s your choice to make the world a better place or not.
If you answered no, you are doing good, be a good human before anything else. The world needs good people like you, we are already living in difficult times. Thank you !!
4. Withdrawn from family and friends
If you are having more social friends than real ones, you are living in a virtual world. A person who gets obsessed with social media, often spends his time and energy in it, which often leaves their closed ones feeling neglected.
LITMUS TEST – Has your family member or friend asked you to stop looking into your phone and listen to them first? Or pointed you out how they feel ignored while talking to you?
If yes, you need to make some lifestyle changes and give your loved ones the undivided attention they deserve.
If you answered no, then you really are a good listener and not trapped into social media.
5. Are you always struggling to get a perfect selfie, the perfect lighting, perfect pose, so you could upload online??
People today love to have that perfect selfie because they want to look their best in the pictures. They don’t want the world to see their acne, or the dark circles, or the scar, or the mole on their faces.
Thanks to the galaxy of applications specially designed for their users who want to edit their pictures and remove their imperfections.
LITMUS TEST – Are you applying filters and editing each of your photos to perfection before uploading them online??
If you answered yes, you need to think about the “why” of this question. Why do you want to be someone you are not?
If you answered no, kudos to you for being happy in your own skin and not following the crowd of the virtual world.
This point should make you realise how social media has affected your self-esteem, your mental health.
6. Are you constantly checking your phone just so you do not miss something?
Is it hard for you to stay even a minute without checking your notifications?? Do you know why?
The fear of losing out on something has got you. You fear of missing out on something that is in trend, or latest celebrity news, your friends wherabouts etc.
LITMUS TEST – Do you feel left out or falling behind the crowd if you are away from your phone for even an hour? You feel anxious about who must have texted you? Or how many likes your profile picture must have received? Or if whether people commented on your vlog or not ?
If you answered yes, this will definitely affect your mental health, because you are getting yourself worried, reduce focus and appetite. So learn to stay away from your phone and do something productive and creative for your peace of mind.
If you answered no, that’s good. Social media should not dictate your mood and life.
7. Are you comparing your life with others??
Since everybody is uploading their lives online, nothing is hidden. What they do, what they eat, how they live, what they earn, car they drive, where they spend, everything is available online these days.
Sometimes this leads to comparing ones lives with another. This is the worst thing you could do to yourself.
LITMUS TEST – In last 1 week did you compare your life with someone else and wished if you were in their place??
If you compare, you will always feel adequate, because you will compare someone’s strength with your weakness. If you compare strength with strength even then there will always be someone who is better than you. Understand? Comparison can cause low self-esteem, depression, resentment, jealously and envy towards people.
If you answered no, good for you. You are happy with your own life.
In the end, just realise that virtual world is virtual, no matter how many friends you get, or followers follow you, it can never replace the love and affection of your near and dear ones in real life.
Write your thoughts in the comment section below. Would love to hear your litmus test results and if you gave a thought of changing any habit.