Happiness is a choice you can make everyday View More
Are you guilty of comparing your loved ones or yourself to someone around you??
Did you grow up being always told to be like your siblings, or some random kid in the class or in your parent’s friend circle ? Is this sounding common to you??
This is the root cause of comparision, it all starts from childhood and the cycle continues, the same kid grows up being compared all his life and then does the same with his own kids too and this vicious cycle continues.
Now, what’s wrong with comparision? Aren’t you encouraging your child or friend or lover to be better by showing how others are doing it??
NO, YOU ARE PREPARING THEM FOR LOW SELF ESTEEM ISSUES WHICH WILL EVENTUALLY PUT THEM INTO DEPRESSION.
This not only happens to kids, but with adults too who once happened to be strong individuals who then lost themselves in this chaotic world.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO ENCOURAGE SOMEONE FOR THEIR BETTERMENT??
1. CELEBRATE THEIR INDIVIDUALITY. You need to understand human nature, every human has a set of skills, a temperament, their level of understanding which is unique from another human. This is FACT. Don’t try to alter and don’t try to make someone what they can’t be. Be at peace with their identity.
2. SUGGEST THEM, DONT FORCE. You know people become defensive when something is forced on them. Be it rituals, behaviours, rigid rules, culture norms etc. Ever faced anger moments when you stopped your friend from drinking? Or from husband/wife when you stopped them from behaving a certain way? Or from a kid whom you stopped for throwing tantrums?
3. APPRECIATE THEIR STRENGTHS The times we live in, it is hard for people to appreciate even their loved ones, hardwork goes unnoticed, small love gestures go unnoticed. Why? Wives are not appreciated by husbands for the work they put because it’s considered a obligation and vice versa. Kids are not appreciated by parents for scoring average marks because he was expected to get first-class. Couples don’t appreciate their elderly parents who brought them up for all the years. Friends don’t appreciate each other who go out of the way to make them feel special because some other friend did a bigger and even better act for them. Why? Why have people become so harsh to each other? Relax, it’s time to appreciate the little things in life, focus on people’s strengths, ignore their weaknesses because we all have in us.
4. DONT TALK, COMMUNICATE AT DEEPER LEVELS. Most of the people don’t know the difference between talking and holding a meaningful conversation. In this technology trapped world it is very easy to avoid much communication with anyone. This is a major cause which changes people’s behaviour towards their loved ones. Are you guilty of making someone feel lonely in a relationship? You definitely owe an apology. When was the last time you interacted with your loved one without any gadgets around, away from your screen. It is common to see one person talking, and the other one replying while using their smart screens. This often leaves the other person feeling neglected and less valued. If you are serious about your relation, make an effort to listen to them, come up with solutions, comfort them with your warmth, don’t brush of their worries just because you feel they are vague and not a big deal. Show empathy and affection, if they share it with you, it took a lot of courage to even speak about it. So don’t judge anybody for anything, you don’t have that right.
Everyone deserves to be treated best, don’t judge people or compare people.
When you compare each other, you don’t know the damage you are doing to their mental health, the person eventually will lose himself trying to meet those expectations and fall into depression which can even cost their life. This is a serious issue, respect each other for who they are. Follow positive constructiveness in relations and most important do it together, hand in hand. That’s when life will become meaningful.